Funk Soul Brother
The following is from an e-mail I received today. In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one – owned not by him – but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will […]
It’s Raining Men
Well 2009 got off to a great start – I puked on Gina Party’s floor in the guest bedroom after her New Year’s Eve party. And for those of you that don’t know GP very well, she gets absolutely disgusted with vomit or anything having to do with vomit. Here’s a brief recap from one […]
Let’s Get It Started
 The first sign you’re gay My grandma always tells me to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day because it’s supposed to bring good luck. I think I’m going to take her advice this year. In the past month, my digital camera, television and ankle have all broken. Someone hand me some hot sauce and a fork. Stupidity Tax […]
These Apples
I wanted to make a new post this morning for a couple of reasons. First, it’s Sheila E.’s birthday. Second, I had to get rid of that disgusting ass picture from the first thing people see on the SOB. Some interesting things you may not know about Sheila E. - Lived in Minnesota for a year and […]
Accidentally In Love
WTF? Update: That is not my ass. Well, well, well… it’s the day after Christmas and I’m drinking at the satellite office. Shocker. Please give a warm SOB welcome to the newest cast members - Doug Wetback and Tom B. Thanks to everyone that has donated money to my pee and cum pill fund. And by everyone, […]
Baby, Please Come Home
I’ve never noticed how many non-handicapped people park in spots reserved for those who really need them – until I was one of those that really needed them. Let me take you back to Monday night. I noticed all of the handicapped spots in a parking lot were taken, so I was forced to park a couple of […]
Two Tickets To Paradise
 ‘Tis the season for giving… At least it must be, because I keep seeing those panhandlers outside my local grocery store ringing bells and begging me to drop money into their red buckets. I mean, these guys are yelling, “Merry Christmas” to me as soon as I get out of the Saab. So, in the […]