New Age Girl
Why didn’t I think of that? Lent ends this weekend, and I gave up only one thing – carbs. That hasn’t gone so well. I’ve gained ten pounds over the last 40 days. The good news is I hit my high weight of 196 last Friday. Of course, this was after eating Taco Bell the […]
The Way It Is
I spent over an hour at the cell phone store on Monday. During this grueling test of patience, I witnessed a confrontation between an irate customer and the store manager. One of my pet peeves is when people use big words in an attempt to sound smarter than they actually are. While watching the altercation, I was sure of two […]
Show Them To Me
Good gravy, those things are huge. Meet Crazy Mary. She’s a friend of Gina Party. Shocker. And for our enjoyment, she bought an SOB T-shirt – size small. Holy Moses, smell the roses. I’m writing a country and western song. It’s called I got a DUI on the way to get my IUD. I’m thinking […]
Under My Thumb
It’s a little out of focus, but this is what a blood blister looks like. If you want to now how it feels, imagine someone hitting your thumb with a sledgehammer. I’m finally trying to get into all of this Twitter and Facebook stuff. I mentioned I was sending updates to Twitter the other day. I […]
Piss On You
Chapelle Show: R-Kelly Piss On YOU – watch more funny videos Haters gotta hate. Lovers wanna love. I don’t even want none of the above. I want to piss on you.
Dance Dance Dance
Here are three things that I’ve moved for years. Not only am I not moving them again – they’re going in the dumpster tonight. Besides, they all come with a story I probably need to forget. And by story, I mean girl. Below are brief descriptions of how I acquired each item (left to right). […]
I Will Follow
For Sale: SOB long sleeve T-shirt, size XL, worn only once to happy hour, covered in yak I had to sit through an entire afternoon of Diversity Training on Monday. We were taught what constitutes sexism, sexual discrimination and sexual harassment. Also provided were examples of discrimination based on race, religion, and sexual orientation. I sat there for nearly […]