She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy
 Belmont Picks: Chocolate Candy Dunkirk Mine That Bird Charity Man Long shot exotic plays: 3/1,5 trifecta, 3-1-5-7 superfecta SOB Translation of the Day Quote: “The pool party is tonight.” Translation: “I’m going to start drinking at noon, and be asked to leave when it starts.” Plowin’ these fields in the hot summer sun. Over by the […]
Original Sin
 Screw it. I’ve got nothing tonight, so let’s go with the story of Big Butthole Girl. I had a crush on this chick all through high school. I finally nailed her my first summer back from college. She had gone to another school, and somehow managed to remain a virgin. I had done the same. Wink. […]
Silly Love Songs
I walked past an elderly Korean lady tonight after work. She’s a neighbor I see all the time, but we’ve never had a conversation. I was carrying a 30-pack of cold ones, and completely prepared to give her a nod and go on my way. “Ah, you must ah rike the beer,” she said with a smile. “Yep,” […]
Straight Outta Compton
I went to the 2nd Annual Beer and Brats Festival in Westport on Saturday. I’d like to make two comments about the afternoon. First, I never saw a brat. Second, I had no idea you could get so wasted when sampling beers from a 5-ounce glass. I guess it comes down to simple math. 50 x 5 = Daddy’s drunk. I’m going […]
Back When
 I saw a couple of kids riding their bikes last weekend. Both were wearing helmets. One looked like he was ready for a motocross race. We didn’t wear bike helmets when I was a kid. I don’t even think they made them back then. If they did, nobody I knew had one. Shit, I remember […]
No Such Thing
God bless prom season If you’re not following the SOB on Facebook or Twitter, you’re missing out on important updates like this. No more nachos before bedtime. I could wipe my butt with a snow cone right now. I think I’m slowly adapting to this whole clean thing. Yeah, I’ve cleaned my place in the past. I’m […]
Run Through The Jungle
 Exacta box? I invented another drinking game over the weekend – Countdown. The rules are pretty simple. Get together with three friends, and assign each player a number between 1 and 4. Then turn on Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC. A player will drink a shot of beer every time he says the words that correspond to the player’s number. […]