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Don’t Blink

The SOB will be dark until later this week. My grandma passed away, and I will be out of town with my family.  My mom asked me to say a few words at the funeral. My grandma was fortunate to live a long and happy life. And I am fortunate to have a lot of […]

Pop Song 89

Tim Johnson strikes again. Happy Facebook Friday [audio:weeks_over.mp3]  I want to give a shout out to the driver of the hotel airport shuttle that drove my drunk ass home last night. I was in no shape to walk after Parties in the Plaza – especially when I was carrying an extra-large pepperoni pie. Best thing I ever […]

Hello, I Love You

I already sent an update to Facebook and Twitter regarding this issue, but I had a major BLOW OUT in the men’s room today. It was so bad, guys were running out the door like democrats at a job fair. Mr. O and I had a nice conversation about relationships the other day.                          BENNY She wants […]

99 Problems

I found some dude’s wallet in the Melrose Place parking lot Sunday morning. It was resting next to a fresh pile of puke. I didn’t need Miami CSI to solve the case. I thought about buying a 12-pack before I turned it in. But, hey, I’ve been there before. And that’s just another morning for […]

I’ve Got A Name

Enjoying Chico’s new swimming pool There are a lot of grueling ways to make a living. You could be a window washer, crab fisherman, ironworker, fireman, policeman. The list goes on and on. But one the most difficult jobs has to be a computer programmer in charge of updating spell check applications.  I mean, think of the work involved trying […]

Beds Are Burning

I read the American Idol runner-up announced he is gay. I think his name his Adam, or something. I never watched an episode but I saw the guy on one of the morning shows the day after the final. He’s gay? Really? Shit, the guy makes Clay Aiken look straight. June is Gay Pride month. May was […]

Me And My Gang

The Melrose Place pool party last Saturday was something of a homecoming. A majority of the cast members were there – Abby, Crowe Dog, Dani-girl, Chico, Gina Party, Issac, Leo & Sheri, Maribeth, Sheila E and Tom d G. But I want to clear up a rumor – mainly the one started by me. I was not […]