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Cat Scratch Fever

I want to share a quick one with you. I bet you do. A buddy called me last week with a story he said, “You just can’t make up.” I’m not going to use his name because his yarn is an embarrassing one. He was trimming some trees in his back yard. When he was […]

Bullet The Blue Sky

I’m not Ansel Adams, but I took this picture today from my cell phone. Man, I wish I had some mushrooms. I called the ex-girlfriend tonight to get her side of the story. She didn’t answer, so we’re going with my side. She invited me to a party last Sunday. Later that night, I found […]

Domino

“Wanna go into the bathroom, Benny?” “Why yes, I would. I need to get even with someone.” “What?” “Nothing. Just lock the fucking door.” I looked everywhere, but apparently Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry I puked on your carpet” greeting card. Go figure. Okay, we’re just a few Facebook fans away from the century mark. […]

Living For The Night

As you can probably tell by the picture, Gina Party was in charge of the meat this Labor Day Weekend. I usually pick out the hamburger or chicken, but when it comes to big juicy wieners, I bow to her experience and knowledge. For the record, I didn’t eat that one. It’s no big secret […]

Big Ten Inch Record

That last post was pretty lame because (a) I was using Gina Party’s new $350 Facebook Machine and she was rushing me so she could look at her wall, and (b) I didn’t tell the reason behind what I wrote. You see, the “ex”-girlfriend noticed I had removed her as a friend on Facebook. And […]

Breakup Song (They Don’t Write ‘Em)

There are four different types of break-ups: Abusive break-up If this is you, quit reading the SOB, and turn yourself into the police. Douche bag. Mutual break-ups I don’t think these actually happen, but whatever. I think this means – We’re going to spend some time away from each other, but keep the door open […]

Hang Fire

SOB Tip of the Day – If the cardboard from your empty 30-pack won’t ignite a fire, use OFF! bug spray. Everyone will be huddled around a warm campfire in minutes. And there won’t be a mosquito in sight. Disclaimer – The person in this picture is a professional drunk. Don’t try this at home. […]