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Have A Cigar

All I want for Christmas are my shocker gloves, my shocker gloves, see my two shocker gloves! Gee, if I could only have my shocker gloves, then I could wish you “Merry Christmas.” I know Sprint gets a bad rap sometimes, but I’ve had pretty good service since I became a customer. Case in point […]

November Spawned A Monster

Reason #127 to keep King out of airport bars I want to give my support to the Rams fans out there. It wasn’t that long ago when the Chiefs were a struggling franchise. But now look at them – they’ve won two games in a row – and back to being one of the elite […]

How Forever Feels

Is Tom d G America’s next top model? He can also be seen on a nationwide television commercial. I think it’s for a company called Freedom Financial Network, or something. Anyway, I’ve seen it on ESPN in the morning. Oh, and the horse racing network, TVG, has been airing it, as well. Or at least […]

Big Time

I’ll tell you what – if I could lay this little fellar on his side – and put some covers over him – well, I’d have a statue of myself. My banker pulled a good practical joke on me. Yes, I have a banker. Don’t you? I needed a new debit card, so I called […]

One Tree Hill

I sent the following email to Mayor Francis Slay. I also sent it to the St. Louis Streets Department and the Clayton/Tamm neighborhood. Dear Mayor Slay, I realize most democrats are focused on health care reform and other social services these days. But I think public safety should also be a consideration. I discovered this […]

Jungleland

Every Breeder’s Cup weekend, I’m reminded of how Frankie Dettori jacked me out of a big score in the 1998 Classic. I know everyone remembers the stretch drive of that race, but let me vent for a second. I was having a good day. And then I let everything ride on a 6-1 shot named […]

The Waiting

“I told that Kraut a fuckin’ thousand times, I don’t roll on Shabbos!” I went to the Halloween street party Saturday night in the Central Rear End. This guy had the best costume. I went as a drunk version of myself. For my big finale, I waved good-bye to the crowd as I fell into […]