Whole Lotta Love
I don’t have a lot of romantic Valentine’s Day stories. That’s because I usually try to break-up with girlfriends around birthdays and holidays. Hey, don’t laugh. I’ve managed to save a ton of money over the years using this method. And by save, I mean blew at the track. But one year in college I […]
Amazing
Shop at Sam’s Club much? I want to thank Tom d G for hosting the Super Bowl Party this year – and for supplying the endless amount of vodka and Jaeger shots. Needless to say, I didn’t pay close attention to the game. Shit, I had to get on the internet the next day to […]
Baba O’Riley
Got a little Admiral in you? Every news program I watched today featured some chef or dietician explaining how you can still eat healthy at a Super Bowl party. I don’t know what the big deal is. I eat like I’m at a Super Bowl party every day. Oh, and the chefs try to make […]
Where The Streets Have No Name
I broke down and ordered a DSL modem from AT&T, after being unsuccessful in my efforts to secure one on the free market. It can’t get here soon enough because I’m on a 30-minute time limit on the computers at Melrose Place. Here’s an excerpt from another conversation with Anonymous Buddy. BENNY You get naked […]
Mr. Brightside
I finally made my beer run. The car? The hood latch worked fine on Saturday morning. This allowed me to diagnose the problem in the light of day. The battery was not dead. The cable was just loose. Dumb ass. The move? I got done sometime on Sunday afternoon. Now the old place is clean, […]
Right Here, Right Now
Terrible Marketing Let me recap a shitty day. – Cell phone went dead because I brought the wrong cord – Started to leave work at 6:00, and found out I was scheduled to stay until 7:30. – 7:35: Discovered car battery was dead – 7:36: Discovered cable to open hood was broken – 7:37: Realized […]
The Movie
Why is America so fat? I used my cell phone to record and upload my first video on YouTube. I call it The Summer of Benny – Cribs. It’s my birthday, so I’m getting drunk tonight. Here’s how I spent some previous ones. This Day in Benny History 1996: Flew to Honolulu with “Doggie-Style” 1997: […]