Perfect Blue Buildings
I was so bored after Family Guy ended last night – I watched some of the Oscars. That made me even more bored, so I started thinking up porn movie titles based on the actual movies. Basing a porn movie title from an actual film is nothing new. Examples include A Tale Of Two Titties, […]
Do It Again
Okay, so we’re three weeks away from The Summer of Benny trip to California to visit King. Here’s a list of SOB cast members making the trip: Me, Tom d G, Dani-girl, Abby, Maribeth. But here’s the kicker – I wasn’t going until JB (a guy I’ve never met) was kind enough to use a […]
Longview
Two weeks into Lent, and I’m still King of the County. But I’m getting aroused by the strangest things. Check out Miss Butterworth’s looking all sexy inside my refrigerator door. Tease. Sometimes I wish they made a patch for this, but I would probably just rub it off. Watching the Olympics didn’t help, either. Skating […]
How Soon Is Now?
Another conversation with Anonymous Buddy: ANONYMOUS BUDDY I found a great tip to help boost my brainpower. BENNY Okay. ANONYMOUS BUDDY It said to brush your teeth with your left hand if you’re a righty. But I took it a step further. BENNY I think I know where this is going. ANONYMOUS BUDDY Yep – […]
Black Betty
I peed on it I’ve decided to get serious about my diet, so I’ve eliminated all carbs after 2 PM. Then I piss on this little stick at night to make sure my body is in ketosis. That’s the medical term for not eating french fries. FYI – If you call one morning, and I […]
Red Light
I guess I never realized this before, but I rarely have a conversation with King when we’re both sober. Here’s one from this morning. KING What you got going today, Benny Boy? BENNY Laundry. KING Got a little laundry on the agenda, huh? BENNY Yeah, but I’m out of dryer sheets, and I hate static […]
Throwing Stones
During this time of year I’m reminded that giving something up for Lent is not about making yourself suffer. It’s about giving something up for the benefit of your neighbor. That’s why I’ve decided to abstain from playing a little five on one. I’m sure my neighbor will appreciate 40 days of not hearing porn […]