I peed on it
I’ve decided to get serious about my diet, so I’ve eliminated all carbs after 2 PM. Then I piss on this little stick at night to make sure my body is in ketosis. That’s the medical term for not eating french fries.
FYI – If you call one morning, and I use the code word, “Snickers” – bring sugar – STAT.
Excerpt from a meeting:
MANAGER
Guys, we’ve been over this before, but you can’t use cell phones at your desks. This includes sending text messages.BENNY
What about sexting?MANAGER
Maybe we should call Cheryl Carpenter and ask her.BENNY
Who’s that?MANAGER
She’s in charge of HR.BENNY
Don’t do that. Just give me her cell phone number, and I’ll kill two birds with one stone.
Black Betty with Epic Beard Man. NSFW
Bam-ba-Lam.