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Convenience Center in the Men's Room

Can I get $4.00 in quarters, please?

I’ve never been a big fan of Hooters. I’m talking about the restaurant here. You know I’m a boob man.

As sports bars go, they’re over-rated, over-priced, and apparently over-sensitive these days.

Case in point – me and a couple of buddies went there on Sunday to watch the early NFL game. Our waitress couldn’t have been friendlier and provided great service.

We noticed another waitress wearing a t-shirt instead of the official Hooters tank top. And she was obviously what the owners had in mind when they came up with the name for their restaurant.

We waved her over to ask what was going. She stormed over to our table, and already had an attitude.

“What were you looking at?” she asked my buddy.

“Well, it’s a sports bar, and you were standing under a TV,” he replied.

“Why did you wave me over here then?”

“We were just wondering why you’re not wearing a tank top, when it’s quite obvious you wouldn’t have a problem filling it out,” I said.

“I’m (expletive) pregnant. And I hope you enjoy getting kicked out of here because I’m going to tell my manager.”

And then she stormed off.

“She seems pleasant,” I said.

We sat there trying to figure out what just happened. I mean, she didn’t look pregnant, and it wasn’t like we were being perverts, or anything. I’m sure she’s heard things a thousand times worse than that.

Before we left, I handed her a Summer of Benny card.

“Check out my website,” I said. “I’ll refer to you as Miss Personality.”

Well, that wasn’t a good move either because she started shouting at us again as we walked towards the door.

That’s probably my last visit to Hooters. I need to start eating healthier, anyway.

We always wish for money. We always wish for fame.

4 Responses

  1. She is just pissed cause she will not know the daddy’s name. It was probably one of her late night tricks after a slow Tuesday! Well I’m on my way out gonna go make another !!!

  3. Hey, just had my boss at my day job hand me this article. Just wondering, which Hooters was this at? I’m gonna guess the Maryland Heights store. If thats the case, I work at that store and can probably guess the girl you are talking about. (There are actually 2 pregnant girls at our store right now). Anyway, dont let that keep you from Hooters! Trust me, I know we are overpriced, but over-sensitive is not the norm. Imagine yourself in this position… constantly being surrounded by a group of men whos main goal at work was to look good. I mean the best hair, best figure, best tan blah blah blah the list goes on and on. (Because trust me, our money depends on it) Now imagine that you are the guy that is overweight, bloated, grouchy, and in pain all the time from working at a job requiring you to be on your feet. That alone would totally suck. Add customers that stare and gawk at you all day long because you are obviously different than everyone else, and I think that would be enough to send almost anyone over the edge. I’m just sayin, she’s going through a lot so dont take it personally!

    P.S. “Baby Daddy”- Not that its any of your business but she does know the dads name…Actually they have been together for a pretty long time and are engaged. So keep your rude comments outlining Hooter girls as prostitutes to your self.

  4. Hi Alyssa,

    Thanks for your comment. I purposely left out the location (Maryland Heights) because I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble.

    Believe me, I know what she is going through. “…overweight, bloated, grouchy, and in pain all the time…” I couldn’t have described myself any better.

    And yes, people constantly “stare and gawk” at me, too. But usually it’s because they think I’m Drew Carey.

    Behind it all, I’m still downright sexy.

    I didn’t take it personally. I just thought it was something funny to write about. And I promise not to boycott Hooters; or your restaurant.

    Thanks again,

    Benny