Straight Outta Bridgeton
Since I didn’t have a chance to give my Christmas present to the woman I was dating, I’ll share it with you.
To say she is directionally challenged would be an understatement. Actually, I found the quality to be endearing, especially since she laughed at herself.
I thought a GPS would be the perfect gift. And since we had plans to go to the grocery story last Saturday, I had the address already programmed.
When I found out her sister was coming over, and we wouldn’t be going to the store, I ran up to the gas station. I entered their address, so I could surprise her on the way to her daughter’s house later that evening.
Then I was asked to leave for continuing a conversation while urinating with the bathroom door open.
The following morning I entered the address to Target, and drove the 5.3 miles to return the gift.
The directions were flawless.
“Why are you returning this?” I was asked.
“Because I pee with the door open,” I replied.
Man talk about your strange looks. The girl behind the counter barely said another word. And I damned near got lost on the way home.
I don’t care what you do. I wouldn’t want to be like you.