What’s Your Name

Here’s a sampling of a commercial jingle I’m working on for the propane industry.

[audio:propane.mp3]

Yeah, I know it’s stupid. But I get a little delirious after trying to transform this SpongeBob SquarePants body into an Adonis-like sculpture.

…which leads me to my trip to Walmart this morning.

I had to return the workout bands I bought last week. After starting my exercise regime, I realized that bands are for pussies – and I need a pull-up bar.

The customer service manager was a semi-attractive blonde in her mid-50’s – with huge fake boobs. A cougar, if you will. And she left no doubt that I was supposed to notice her boobs.

She was sticking them out like they were shooting off mortar rounds from a battleship.

And if that wasn’t strange enough – the two employees working were named Tiphanie and Rodgery.

I mean, what the hell happened to Tiffany and Rodger?

I think Jack and Jill have been replaced with Jacquez and Jinelle.

Well, it’s 8 o’clock in Boise, Idaho.