Domes are for pussies
The Chiefs may be winless this year, but Arrowhead is still one of the best places to tailgate.
I’ve been waiting for my credit card company to call after Sunday. The conversation would go something like this:
“May I speak to Benny?”
“Who’s calling?”
“This is Michelle from your credit card company.”
“Yeah, this is Benny.”
“Oh, hi, Benny. I’m with the investigative unit here at the bank.”
“Drink – you said unit.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. Go on.”
“We’re concerned about several transactions that were made on your card on Sunday.”
“Okay. What’s the problem?”
“We believe a group of fraternity brothers stole your credit card, and went on a drinking binge at Arrowhead Stadium.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Then we tracked them to KCI airport where the partying continued.”
“Wow.”
“Did you lose your credit card over the weekend?”
“No.”
“Were you at those places on Sunday?”
“Yes. In fact I distinctly remember sneaking into a corporate suite, and then getting escorted out by security.”
“So you’re saying the charges are yours?”
“Are there a bunch of $7.75 charges that say something like 16 oz. beer?”
“Yes.”
“They’re probably mine. But do I still have to pay if I don’t remember using the card?”
“Yes, you do.”
“Well, I guess that makes sense. Otherwise, Harrah’s owes me a shitload of money.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Thank you for your time, Benny. Your next payment is due on November 2nd.”
“Can’t wait.”
We eat the night. We drink the time. Make our dreams come true. And hungry eyes are passing by – on streets we call the zoo.