Big Ten Inch Record

That last post was pretty lame because (a) I was using Gina Party’s new $350 Facebook Machine and she was rushing me so she could look at her wall, and (b) I didn’t tell the reason behind what I wrote.

You see, the “ex”-girlfriend noticed I had removed her as a friend on Facebook. And she wasn’t too happy when she found out. In my defense, I did it in an effort to move on. I could have kept her on the list, and followed what she did everyday. But that’s called stalking.

Gina didn’t understand it either when I told her. But her views on dating and relationships are somewhat skewed. She’s doesn’t play by the same set of rules as the rest of us. Most people don’t know this, but she watches nothing but drama shows – mostly on the Lifetime. You would think that someone with so much drama in her real life would need a little comedy relief. I think it just adds fuel to her fire.

I gave in to the pressure, though, and added the “ex” back as a friend. I think that’s the right thing to do, you know, since I’ve peed on her a few times, and all.

I was on a float trip with Lil’ Bro’s friends a few years ago. For those of you not in Missouri, we think it’s fun spending a day drinking beer in a canoe. Anyway, we had stopped on a landing to take a break. I had to relieve myself, so I walked away from the group and disappeared behind a tree.

I noticed one of the wives walking towards me with a camera. I knew what she was doing, so I quickly began fluffing myself.

“Can I take a picture of it?” she asked.

“Sure,” I replied as I turned around with my dick cupped in my hand.

“Oh, my,” she said.

Click.

She looked at the camera to make sure she had gotten the shot, and walked away.

A couple of weeks later, the picture was passed around a party. The ladies looked in amazement, and a legend was born. Let this be a lesson to every guy – Never let someone take a picture of your dick unless it’s standing at half-staff.

Drink – I said staff.

– One week left to vote for The Summer of Benny as Best Blog in the Riverfront Times – Best of St. Louis 2009.

Got me the strangest woman. Believe me this trick’s no cinch. But I really get her going, when I whip out my big 10 inch.