It’s My Life

WTF? Seriously.

I swear I keep running into a girl that was a booty call of mine back in the 90’s. She gave me a look today like she knew me. If that’s her, at least her face cleared up. But I’m hoping it isn’t, because I sure didn’t treat her very well back then.

Chicks don’t forget that.

Ain’t Karma a bitch?

I found a friend on Facbeook a couple of weeks ago. We hadn’t talked in ten years, and she asked for an abbreviated version of what I’ve been up to.

So here we go…

1999
– January – Convention in Dallas
– February – Convention in San Antonio
– April – Spread dad’s ashes at his favorite fishin’ hole. Convention in Orlando.
– May 1st – Drove to Louisville from Indy with Red and Niro for Kentucky Derby. Stupid horse.
– May – Trip to Seattle. Golf. Went home and surprised mom on Mother’s Day.
– June – Joined cycling club in Kirkwood. That was stupid.
– July – Convention in Chicago. Cubs game. OTB. Dallas – Mesquite Rodeo with Lil’ Bro
– August – R.E.M. concert at Riverport
– September – Convention in Vegas. Golf. Won $4k on video poker. The rest of the trip is a blur. Took the red eye home on Saturday night. Drove to Arrowhead to meet Brenda (blind date). Skinny bitch.
– December – Home for the holidays.

2000
– New Year’s Day – Watched bowl games at Swing’s.
– Jan 2nd – Watched Chiefs lose to Radiers 38-41 at Arrowhead Stadium. Season over.
– Feb 4th – Got AOL.
– Mar 3rd – Canceled AOL.
– March – Convention in Hilton Head. Played Harbor Town. Swam in ocean with Tiffany.
– May – Indy 500 with Red and Niro.
– September – Convention in Traverse City, MI. Plane had an emergency landing out of Detroit. Damned near shit my pants. Played Big Bear. Went to Amarillo later in the month for birthday party roast.
– October – Seattle to watch Chiefs beat Seahawks 24-19 at Husky Stadium.
– December – Home for the holidays.

2001
– January – Convention in Maui. Played Kapalua. Watched Super Bowl at bar in Lahina. Bought weed from some dude on a bridge.
– February – Blind date with Jennifer. Made plans for the following week but she heard on Oprah that you should wait until the last minute to tell a guy “Yes.” When she called, I told her to “fuck off.”
– March – Convention in New Orleans. Golf at English Turn. Got fluffed for the first time.
– April – Won car on TV in Seinfeld contest.
– May – Sold car won on TV. Met Drunkie Drunk.
– June – Memphis with Drunkie Drunk
– July – Went to NYC. Played the ponies at Belmont with Chuck the limo driver.
– October– Let Drunkie Drunk move in. That was stupid.
– December – Chiefs game at Arrowhead on the 23rd. Home for the holidays.

That’s it, I’m tired. We’ll have to finish later. That’s what she said.

Don’t you forget.