I found some dude’s wallet in the Melrose Place parking lot Sunday morning. It was resting next to a fresh pile of puke. I didn’t need Miami CSI to solve the case.
I thought about buying a 12-pack before I turned it in. But, hey, I’ve been there before. And that’s just another morning for King.
That gives me an idea. King’s coming to town over the 4th of July. Who needs one? I’m buying.
Things that make me say WTF?Â
The Korean neighbors brought some friends to the pool this weekend. They may be relatives. I don’t know.
But I noticed something peculiar while clutching my beer koozie with both hands. None of them lift their feet when they walk. They just shuffle.
The rolled by me like they were in Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
Today was a real nice day. I got caught in a flood in the parking lot at work, and had to walk through water up to my knees. And since I don’t sell bongs at a hippie shop, I had to spend the entire day in wet socks and shoes.
“You dry yet?” a co-worker axed.
“I’ll be dry before you’re smart.” I replied.
She didn’t say another word to me the rest of the day. So it wasn’t a total loss.
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.