The Melrose Place pool party last Saturday was something of a homecoming. A majority of the cast members were there – Abby, Crowe Dog, Dani-girl, Chico, Gina Party, Issac, Leo & Sheri, Maribeth, Sheila E and Tom d G.
But I want to clear up a rumor – mainly the one started by me. I was not actually kicked out of this year’s festivities. I left on my own accord.
The entertainment this year was a 2-man band – one played bongos and sang – the other played saxophone. A karaoke machine provided the rest of the music. They weren’t bad. They just didn’t play songs that would be considered ‘pool party’ material. I’m sure their music library would be great at a wedding or dinner party.
But I knew we were in trouble when they led off with Easy (Like Sunday Morning).
I won a gift certificate in a raffle during their first break. When I walked up to accept the prize, I grabbed the mic, and nailed the opening of You Give Love A Bad Name. You know the lyrics – Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame…
The funny thing is I’m not a big fan of Bon Jovi. I think I was just sick of hearing Barry White songs.
After their next set, I grabbed the mic again. The bongo player grabbed it from me and said, “Keep your hands off our microphone.”
“Take it easy, Earth, Wind & Fire,” I replied.
I walked away, grabbed my cooler, and told the gang it was probably time for me to leave. Besides, my girlfriend had called it a night a couple of hours before, and was asleep in my bed. So, I had that going for me.
The bongo player was eyeballing me as I walked out.
“Have another beer,” he said.
Now, I know had my share of refreshments during the day. And I probably should have kept walking because either one of them could have pinned me on the ground in seconds.
Instead, I took the opportunity to tell them how much I thought they sucked.
The bongo player then asked me if I wanted to spend the night in the hospital. And I don’t think he was concerned about treating my recent bout of gout.
Thankfully for me, a member of the Melrose Place staff intervened before I could respond. I was asked (and by asked, I mean told) to go home.
I heard later that the staff was worried about me coming back. But that was about as likely as me picking the winner of the Belmont.
Grab a hold of them reigns. We gonna rock this thang, cock this thang.