True dat
I was in traffic today behind some guy driving an Orkin truck. He was doing about 20 mph in a 35 mph zone. And I was about ready to give him a Dale Earnhardt bump.
The truck had one of those bumper stickers that read, ‘How’s my driving? Call 1-800-something-something-ORKIN’.Â
If they really wanted to help, they would print the cell phone number of the driver.
That way I could call his dumb ass and say, “Hey, Granny. How ’bout picking up the pace a little bit so I can make the first post at Santa Anita.”
Here’s another example of a typical conversation I have with my girlfriend. This one happened on Sunday morning.
              BENNY
Where’s the remote?              GIRLFRIEND
Are you saying that because you think I’m fat?              BENNY
No, Tubby. I just want to watch TV.              GIRLFRIEND
    (Hits Benny with the remote)
– A couple of dudes that Mr. O hangs with. Shocker. Thanks, Mrs. O.
– Nike releases a new line of environmentally friendly (green) shoes. Thanks, Mr. O.
– A commercial for Durex condoms. Thanks, Cathy B.
- It looks like the honeymoon is over for Sully. The liberal media must have found out that he’s a Republican. Thanks, Tory K.
– Penn & Teller reveal how it’s done. Thanks, Tom d G.
– NCAA expands March Madness to include 4,096 teams.
– Sony releases new stupid piece of shit that doesn’t fucking work. Thanks, Sheila E. NSFW
– Centrum Silver commercial: Feel young again. Thanks, Cathy G.
– Barbie turns 50. Thanks, Cathy G. and Sheila E.
Blue Kentucky highway, headin’ for the line. She hadn’t said a word all night. But the wheels are turnin’ in her mind.