Should’ve Been A Cowboy

  
Issac at the satellite office

I did it good this time. 

After spending Saturday evening celebrating Issac’s girlfriend’s birthday at Buffalo Wild Wings, I left my coat in a buddy’s car – which by the way, was where I had put my pee pills.  

When my girlfriend asked if I had taken one before bed, I lied and said, “Yes.”

Mistake.

I woke up around 3:30 AM to find myself in a pickle. After realizing what I had done (in her bed), I hopped up and devised a plan – I would change into dry clothes and lay in the wet spot. I thought that perhaps the dry cotton clothing I was wearing would absorb the liquid like a sponge.

Wrong.

I woke up a couple of hours later to hear her screaming my name. And not in a good way.

She got out of bed and said, “Wash the sheets.”

“Okay.”

I removed the fitted sheet and mattress pad only to discover that the bed also contained a plastic wrap that looked a like a tarp. When I found her laying on the sofa in a dry blanket I asked, “You have a mattress pad and a plastic sheet?”

“Yes! I like my bed and was expecting this to happen. I work too hard for you to ruin my things.”

“But a mattress pad and a plastic sheet? – That’s like wearing two condoms.”

Another mistake.

“My mattress pad isn’t waterproof, genius.”

At this point, there was nothing left for me to say but, “I’m sorry. You’re right, and I’m wrong.”

I was then escorted to the washing machine where I was told how stupid I was for (a) attempting to wash only the fitted sheet and not the cover sheet and pillow cases and (b) not washing the mattress pad first since it would be the first thing to put back on the bed.

In my defense, the cover sheet and pillow cases didn’t get wet. And it didn’t matter what I washed first because I planned to put everything in a pile on the floor before making the bed.

Don’t fret – the story has a happy ending.

I apologized for what I had done. She apologized for calling me stupid.

“But you could use some more common sense,” she added.

Agreed.

Two new things are coming to the SOB soon - T-shirts and SOB TV.  

We hope to have T-shirts and Koozies available in a few weeks. They will have funny (at least we think they’re funny) sayings on the front with the logo and website address on the back.

The premier of SOB TV will be on Super Bowl Sunday at Tom d G’s – Thanks to Gina Party for purchasing the webcam.  I’ll have more information on this as we get closer to the date, but here’s the SOB TV address: http://www.justin.tv/summerofbenny

I can’t wait to use the webcam at the pool this summer. Shit, that reminds me, I need to go workout.

Stealing a young girl’s hearts just like Gene and Roy,