188…Over wins. Next week’s O/U – 185.Â
I’ve stated that my goal is to be at 175 pounds by September 23rd. But my actual goal is to lose enough weight so that my man boobs don’t jiggle while barreling down the runway on an airplane.
Stupidity Tax Offense: Wearing a fanny pack. Cha Ching! $10.
My 401(k)Â is up to $300 Million.Â
I woke up with the shakes yesterday morning. I hope it’s because I had about a dozen vodka & sodas at Ozzie’s and Trainwreck without eating. The last thing I want is to wake up and run to the refrigerator for vodka like Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.
The cricket is still alive and hiding somewhere behind my kitchen wall. He knows that I have been trying to find him and his chirps are getting cocky. This should all change when the exterminator comes tomorrow. Last night I pressed the side of my face against the wall and said, “Listen to the bell, Chirpy. It tolls for thee.”
Think you’re having a bad day? - Thanks, Lance M.Â
No one better use this technology on the carpet next to my computer desk. – Thanks, Tom.
There is no political solution to our troubled evolution. Have no faith in constitution. There is no bloody revolution.
Benny
Here in Texas, crickets gather under florescent lights at gas stations and convenient stores, waiting for you to stroll by so they can aim their crunchy jumping bodies at your hair.
Ok, so it’s spelled “fluorescent” lights and “convenience” stores.